Month: June 2007

The Adventures of Jake Laser and Dynamite Jackson

Die in a fire, you son of a bitch. You’re finally dead.

I could beat your level with my eyes closed now, and I hope your corpse is slowly devoured by robo-maggots.

I’m seriously leaning toward freezing myself in anticipation for Michael Bay’s big fuck-all Transformers flick. I know it doesn’t seem like it’s far off, but a lot of bullshit dead-air falls between now and July 3rd/4th, and I’d personally rather skip it all like a bad cutscene.

But my options are vast. Do I got for the traditional ice box, suitable for anything from pizza to liquor, but a bit too powerful for something like gelato?

Or do I research advanced cryogenics and go all out in my endeavor?

I could always use the old tried and true method of time travel, like some disheveled and homeless Dr. Who (well, I guess he’s kind of homeless already).

I feel like Cartman when he was waiting for the Wii to come out.

Kotaku just made a post about what looks like a new Cho Aniki game. Oh, I’m sorry, did that get your attention? I thought it might, you filthy animals! Anyway, let’s play a quick game. I want you to look at the picture below and tell me what’s wrong with it (the answer will be posted in small print at the bottom, so no peeking!

For those of you unfamiliar with the gameplay and the series’ patented homoerotic stylings, peep this video below:

A: There’s a girl, ew!

I hope you’re ready for the Robotronic Express 999 to “take you on a journey, a neverending journey”! (a journey to the stars, of course)

Go forth boldly!