Gimme Dat Hi-Score

Watching the epic exercise in TV game savagery The King of Kong recently has had me on an arcade game kick. I want to be the champeen of a crappy game, preferably one that no one plays, lodged deep within the doughy recesses of a long-forgotten Pizza Hut. Maybe I can take a wrench to one of Gattiland’s 44 (out of 45) busted cabinets.

I decided to settle for an arcade in the virtual world and, more specifically, Jeff Minter’s new shooter Space Giraffe. Since only a few of my friends actually own the game, I can toot my horn high atop Mount Whogivesashit with little to no opposition to my hastily stolen throne. Cyber-honkery aside, the game is awesome!


It definitely has one of my favorite scoring mechanics ever, in which you “bull” enemies off of the edge of the playing field. Picture a more visually intense and ridiculous Tempest 2000, and then picture knocking enemies off of the edge to the roaring sound of a crashing bi-plane. Here is a short gameplay video.

I certainly wouldn’t be playing this a lot if I hadn’t beaten Bioshock the other day, and let me assure you that it was an incredible experience that I plan on revisiting in the next few days after I get some work done. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get a soda and watch some cartunes.

Super Thyroid

“Are you kiddin’ me not updatin’ your blog, bro?” some might say, and rightfully so! Truthfully, I’ve been juggling my time precariously between getting work done and playing lots of Bioshock, and I debated the merit of writing about either here in the hallowed halls of the JLR like so much bathroom scrawling.


Do I even need to write about Bioshock? You could throw an electronic rock on the internet at the moment and unearth great totems of praise and adulation. I’d certainly like to, but I might hold off until I finish to dole out a massive (spoiler-free) proclamation of my very own love.

For now, I will tell you that I am more than a bit smitten with it. This comparison might sound strange, what with the third installment in the Prime series releasing next week on Wii, but I haven’t felt this way about a game since Super Metroid.