Comics

the best part of the simon’s quest manual

by Joseph LusterLeave a Comment on the best part of the simon’s quest manual

Duh. Look at this. It’s the monster roster. These are all the bad guys you’re gonna face in the game, what more do you need to know?

It’s not only important to be able to identify your foes, it’s also crucial that you know their names. Familiarize yourself with them so you may cry them out in times of duress, perhaps so that a passing hunter in nearby woods might hear it. A description would help, as well, but with these pages in question a picture really is worth a thousand words.

I really like that it points out the leech’s ghastliness. Otherwise it would just be your standard stupid leech.

EDIT: I was just thinking. What if it’s saying it wants you to COUNT Dracula’s best buddies? There are 24.

Comics

new era 20XX

by Joseph LusterLeave a Comment on new era 20XX

This is my old blog.

The last substantial update was about a defunct website I used to write for, which is kind of telling. The Joseph Luster Report had a good run, but there comes a moment in every writer’s life where it’s time to pick up and virtually move like the e-transient they are. The last time I did this was 2006. 2006! That’s prehistoric in Internet Time.

And so I welcome everyone to subhumanzoids, a repository of suppositories; like, you know, the kinds of things you would normally plug into your ass. Those all go here.

I also have an art-only tumblr of the same name. I may cross-post some things but you should bookmark both sites.

Comics

On Kung Fu Cult Cinema

by Joseph Luster5 Comments on On Kung Fu Cult Cinema
As I sit here chugging coffee and listening to Geto Boys, naturally my mind starts to drift toward thoughts of Kung Fu Cult Cinema. Not the genre specifically, but the website of olde that covered everything related to Asian flicks, however remote. It’s where I got my start writing and, like many things born and raised online, it’s now floating in a ghoulish shipyard with other similarly abandoned ephemera.

KFCC’s front page circa 2007
I wouldn’t necessarily say the collective level of writing on KFCC was “excellent”—mine certainly wasn’t—but the site fostered a strong sense of community over the course of its existence, such that even when I was long separated from the actual work, I was bummed when it slammed down its virtual shutters for good. I did a lot of work on that site, and it also gave me my first significant taste of “getting free shit,” which can be a strong motivator when you’re a young, broke college student.

What makes KFCC more than just a footnote in my so-far relatively brief and kind of weird career as a writer is the frankly astounding amount of my life—both in terms of work and friendships—that have their origin rooted there. It’s a veritable rogues gallery I’m tellin’ ya*, and that’s just scratching the surface of people who have had a great effect on my life in some way since meeting them via KFCC.

There’s also the not insignificant fact that, well, the entirety of my work since has come as a result of writing for free about this stuff on that very site. It seems like an eternity ago now, but I once took the opportunity to interview this dude some of you may know about both PULP and this little book he wrote, Tokyoscope. Because of this bold meeting of the minds Patrick has been my editor-slash-wise-but-unfortunately-not-bearded-mentor in some capacity since ~2004.

Unfortunately one can only access KFCC now via waybackmachine, which is far from ideal. In fact, it’s downright pointless. However, in the interest of “keeping the dream alive,” I’m going to dig up and post some of my reviews on this blog; not because they’re great writing samples, but because the movies themselves are awesome. I also hold the power to slightly alter them in subtle ways so as not to make myself look like a huge idiot. Stay tuned.

*if I didn’t link you here, it’s probably because I don’t know what the hell site you have anymore, if any!