Greetings, all! Sit down, sit down. Today is truly a day of merriment, for it is the day that, twenty-five years past, Joseph Luster was born!
(fanfare begins and Joseph sits down on his throne)
To celebrate this day, I decree that you shall all buy him things from his wishlist!
(hurrahs continue. A single naysayer raises his thumb against The Earl. He is vanquished with haste)
Now, disperse, and go cast your eyes upon The Earl’s latest cinematic review!