Greetings, peons! I am posting on my old blog through future technologies in an effort to congratulate myself. Congratulations, me! You (I) have recently mastered the ancient Earth technology of the Sony Playstation™! You (I, which will now be noted with “us” and “we”) have explored every title available on the disc system in an effort to gain all world knowledge in the most brief amount of time possible.
The mission, of course, was a success, allowing us to fully integrate with what Earth peoples of the 21st century would likely consider their greatest achievement. Unfortunately, Past Joseph, you will never have the opportunity to be me. Our timelines deviated in 1998, when a crucial historical event severed the connections between What You Will Be and What I Have Become. The Earth history that I know is far different from and most likely superior to your own.
If Sony has managed to complete their follow-up to the highly intelligent Playstation™, then you are no doubt deceased, and I mourn you. In fact, if that is the case, then this message is fruitless, doomed to float among the stars in a wave of informational energy that will coil into a massive strand, thick in essence like a glowing javelin of light.
Comment yes/no if you are alive.
Sincerely,
Joseph Luster from Beyond the Aquarius Belt
P.S. Does anyone read your blog? I have enclosed a picture of myself.
subhumanzoids 
Still alive.Jesus, you still live at our parents’ house? Fuck.
Good words.