It is no longer a secret, friends, I have procured a Nintendo Wii™! Upon finally discovering it loafing about in the wild, I made haste and shot, bagged, gutted, and mounted it proudly next to my television. It is truly a thing of dreams, one that allows newfound ways for me to virtually throw my money at the information superhighway.
Unfortunately, as you probably gathered from that vague sentence, I have also discovered the Virtual Console, a digital Grand Canyon into which I can toss precious moneys with little to nothing being offered in return. Is the trip to my basement, the home of my classic consoles, such a long and arduous one that it warrants this heinous disposal of cash?
Yes. Yes it is.
More on Wii later. I just wanted to do my sexy dance of obtainment, ya heard?
subhumanzoids 
How come is smells like chicken sausage in here?
GET URBAN CHAMPION! It taught a generation to flex their muscles after knockin’ a street punk into an open manhole!
OH SHIT, URBAN CHAMPION WAS THE FUCKING BOMB!!!