Totally MAXED OUT Lunchables Review!

Originally posted in the Otaku USA forums:

Lunchables MAXED OUT Deep Dish Pizza

Publisher: Oscar Mayer
Developer: Oscar Mayer
System(s): My mouth
Available: Now!

A little while ago, as you all know, my editor came by and slapped this on my desk. My “editor” in this case, is actually my dog, Charlie, and the box was inevitably covered in slobber and kibbles. With much haste, I ripped into the perforated seal and lunged at its contents, which were only in mild disarray.

First off, the pizza itself. Now, I don’t know about other people, but I eat these bad mamajamas cold, straight from the fridge. Don’t tell ya mama, but cookin’ these is for chumps! Inside one of the plastic wraps are two square, deep-dish bread-type things. On those, you can spread the enclosed tomato sauce, sprinkle the cheese bits and the not-so-savory bonus cheese dust and, finally, apply the “pepperoni flavored sausage.”

After one pizza with “the works,” I decided to go sans pepperoni for the second round. This was a wise choice, but one that was dashed by the addition of the weird “extra cheesy seasoning,” which tastes like bad microwave popcorn flavoring. Ever the champion, I downed the pizza regardless.

Main Course: 6/10

Boy, I was parched at this point. Lucky for me, they included a bottle of spring water and some Kool-Aid powder! I mixed the two, smiling all the while. Now, the first two sips were repugnant at best. I thought for a moment that there might not be any sugar in this, but I was thirsty, so on I went. The rest was pretty flavorful, but I still felt the need to crack a brew. It made me wonder if I am the only man today whose lunch consists of Lunchables and Rogue Dead Guy Ale.

I was going to save the “Airheads” dessert for later, but that would be unfair to my readers. It was good. I like Airheads and Cherry is as fine a flavor as any.

Bonus Features: 7/10