Galactic Guest Column II

Remember our good buddy John Kunkel? Well, he’s back with more extra-terrestrial eccentricities in this week’s very special guest column!

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Pentagon Tracking Spy Satellite Debris

The recent story about how the military is publicly tracking the satellite that they shot down with missiles, which was in an effort to make sure no “debris” was going to fall in a populated area, may be evidence that the military is doing either one of two things: having a dual natured strategy of being genuine about its concern while simultaneously being proactive in announcing that a potentially “unidentified” “flying” object might be in the sky tonight, knowing that the public’s knowledge of this preemptively debunks any claim of a UFO sighting, or just straight up becoming more strategic and offensive in not letting their deep secret out.

It does seem, no matter how much you want to believe/theorize otherwise, that this story is true: there is a dead satellite in the sky and the military needs to shoot it down to protect innocent bystanders, they need to track its falling, and that coinciding with the Masses’ media-perceived interests, this is a big story on major news outlets. This seems like an interesting, but typical, Science/Technology headline.

However, one can not ignore the fact that the military DOES currently have hundreds of genuinely unexplained incidences of UFO sightings, and the bullshit stories are dwindling, while the truly unexplained stories are gaining momentum. No longer can faith, religion, power, and deception continue to persuade a large number of people from the truth. The facts are there, you can choose how you look at them. Do you need examples? I am not going to go into listing every single Roswell, Arizona Lights, Ancient Gods, Renaissance paintings’ mysterious background objects, the Mayan Calendar, Aviation Black Box Recordings….how many stories does one need? You can find the proof, it has always been there. You choose not to look.

Hear MY theory. America is militarily the most dominant nation in the world because we have alien technology. In the weeks after Roswell, an alien survivor roamed the desert, and met with U.S. army officials. Vice-President Eisenhower at the time was in charge of the top secret mission of handling this exciting new discovery. Some say that alien’s name was Albert, but the name is not important, and whether that name is true or not pales to the fact that the alien DID exist. And this alien was not aggressive, but smart and slick, and would not divulge all of his knowledge. Albert informed us that these aliens did in fact eat humans – like a delicacy. We earth creatures, to Albert and his alien cronies, were like tasty chicken wings, with spicy garlic sauce.

In short, we are some tasty munchies to some outside civilization.
But that is just one other civilization of beings. There are many others.

Anyway, the theory continues. The alien divulged, in a rage one day while in American captivity, that his species does not like us Earth beings or respect them, and that we are merely food to them.

This alien and now President Eisenhower struck a deal in 1953. This was Cold War times, and the aliens and their technology were a threat to us. In order to acquire alien information from the homesick Al, we agreed to allow the aliens to revisit in peace to take a specified number of victims each year, so long as they give us some of their technology.

Going back to where this article began, we alluded to the falling satellite story that was on every major news outlet. In that story, the Pentagon submits that they were fearful that the Chinese government would somehow recover some of the satellite debris and study it and find out about our superior technology.

Is our technology better because of our knowledge of science is better?

In many aspects of life and existence, America is not number one. Ultimately, perception is reality, and you choose who is number one in your head.

Nonetheless, it is unmistakable that our military strength, and consequentially the majority of the power on this Earth, comes from our higher understanding of technology.

Is this our knowledge?
Or is this the knowledge of the aliens?
Ahhhh! The Smug Alliance!
COOOOOOOOOOOBRAAAAAA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA
We are unstoppable!
Raeliens unite!

You now know the truth. Do not be fooled by the media mainstream’s story, albeit it may have a hint of truth. The aliens are here, have been here, and do revisit our Earth on a yearly basis. What you see in the sky is not always falling satellite debris, weather balloons, or top secret Air Force aircrafts. What you see is, in fact, your brother in the United States’ alliance with a badass alien race.