Not much has made me hungrier in a long while than this article here. Of course, I read it on the john, so maybe it had something to do with the fact that burgers were coming out of my butt so why not put more in.
So I went to McDonald’s and picked up this bad mother:
The Mushroom & Swiss Angus Burger* or, as I shall come to know it, the “number five.” Let me tell you, this was a real mean son of a beast! It’s not exactly what you expect to return from McD’s with, both in terms of patty girth and overall bun quality.
Though it was certainly fit to be photographed, I only allowed it a brief stay on its platter before downing it in record time. The fries served as both a salty, pre-burger “how do you do,” and a hearty post-mortem epilogue. An obituary crafted from potato fibers and scalding pits of grease.
After savoring the final bites, I spent a few minutes mulling over the clerk that rang me up. At first, I thought her merriment to be a bit of a wink at me, saying something along the lines of “wise choice for a wise man.” However, after the fact, it seems like I was being dealt a bit of a mocking courtesy from the eyes of a fiend fully aware that they had just contributed to a case of Burger Madness.
For your enjoyment, I have created a very large image of my meal. Please use it on your computer.
*My friend John just informed me that it “looks like a diarrhea daiquiri”