I’M BACK. I shot guns. I lost a few bucks. I walked the hot coals of Nevada like a swaggering apocalypse survivor. Now, prior to my harrowing journey, I thought I had placed enough trustworthy agents around the country to keep it safe from terror and evil, but I was mistaken, because I just learned that TROLL is returning. Such vile creatures, they’ll destroy us all!
Before I go any further, I should say that I don’t mind remakes at all. At some point in time, everything will be remade into something else that we’ll either love or hate. It doesn’t really matter. Remakes aren’t the End Times sign of Hollywood like everyone enjoys imagining them to be, but I’m really wondering how this one is going to work outside of some Spiderwick Chronicles type of flick. As much as 2008 has been like a bonus slice of the 1980s, the horror world is definitely not the same.
If you’ve never seen the original, just look at this cover and tell me whether it’s a kids movie, a niche porno, or a Labyrinth spin-off starring Hoggle. Also, let me know when they start remaking Troll 2.