Category: Comics

Here is a really quick and exciting introduction to DYNAMATION for those interested.

I saw Black Snake Moan and, after a year or two of heavy pontification over plot specifics, I came away sort of disappointed. I can’t help but imagine what the movie would have been like had the script been tackled by me and Wes Blacula. I envisioned an X-rated riot; Christina Ricci bound by chain on the floor as the ol’ black bluesman, played by a grizzly and unforgiving Samuel L., creeps up behind her to douse her wild crotch-fire with the soothing venom of his “black snake.”

Instead, we’re treated to a few winning moments enveloped in melodrama. I can’t say I didn’t enjoy the movie on some level, but it wasn’t the level on which I intended to. Once again going against the grain of my expectations, I didn’t find myself bucking out of the theater like a wild animal, carrying the credits music with me in a post-film rampage of exploitative savagery. Rather, I was calmly asking myself The Big Questions such as “Will Justin Timberlake ever recover from his crippling anxiety?” and “Why didn’t Sam Jackson say the line Wes and I had mentally prepared for the script back in 2005?”

Greetings, peons! I am posting on my old blog through future technologies in an effort to congratulate myself. Congratulations, me! You (I) have recently mastered the ancient Earth technology of the Sony Playstation™! You (I, which will now be noted with “us” and “we”) have explored every title available on the disc system in an effort to gain all world knowledge in the most brief amount of time possible.

The mission, of course, was a success, allowing us to fully integrate with what Earth peoples of the 21st century would likely consider their greatest achievement. Unfortunately, Past Joseph, you will never have the opportunity to be me. Our timelines deviated in 1998, when a crucial historical event severed the connections between What You Will Be and What I Have Become. The Earth history that I know is far different from and most likely superior to your own.

If Sony has managed to complete their follow-up to the highly intelligent Playstation™, then you are no doubt deceased, and I mourn you. In fact, if that is the case, then this message is fruitless, doomed to float among the stars in a wave of informational energy that will coil into a massive strand, thick in essence like a glowing javelin of light.

Comment yes/no if you are alive.

Sincerely,

Joseph Luster from Beyond the Aquarius Belt

P.S. Does anyone read your blog? I have enclosed a picture of myself.

Hey, guys, since the cat’s out of the internet bag now, I’ll proceed to post about the new magazine OTAKU USA with which I will be involved! It will be rad. Patrick Macias is the J.J. Jameson of the joint, so I’ll just link you to his blog for more details.

Excerpt for the lazy:

The typical issue of Otaku USA, which will have a cover price of $9.99 ($11.99 in Canada), will be at least 150 pages long and printed in full color on glossy paper. The bimonthly magazine will cover manga, anime, computer games and J-Pop, and it will be written by an American staff from an American point of view.

Wise man say you should promote this as well on the website of your choosing.

Since this is officially the last day that I’m legally allowed to celebrate black people, I’ll share one last video. This is security cam footage of a normal night at Broadway Cinemas in downtown Louisville!