rock of ages

I recently wrote a review of Rock of Ages for Crunchyroll. This game was a really odd experience for me, because, as I mentioned in the review, I’ve never been a fan of tower defense games. They both more me to tears and give me an odd kind of anxiety. I don’t know what it is, but for the most part they suck and should be relegated to freeware titles or 99¢ apps.

Rock of Ages—developed by ACE Team, who made the almost off-puttingly weird but fun first-person action game Zeno Clash—is a different story all together. I think a lot of it has to do with the more action-centric, Marble Madness/Monkey Ball gameplay, but I had just as much fun setting up defenses prior to each roll of the boulder.

Ultimately, though, its simplicity lies in the fact that it’s all a race against time. Once you realize it’s more a matter of getting shit done quicker than whoever’s on the business end of your boulder, it becomes a game of figuring out the best way to navigate increasingly ridiculous courses. So yea, Marble Madness. I played through it in a single sitting with my man Napplejax, qualifying Rock of Ages as a certifiable DAY GAME. (Yea, I just referenced a blog post from 2006. Whatcha-whatcha gon’ do about it?)

the best part of the simon’s quest manual

Duh. Look at this. It’s the monster roster. These are all the bad guys you’re gonna face in the game, what more do you need to know?

It’s not only important to be able to identify your foes, it’s also crucial that you know their names. Familiarize yourself with them so you may cry them out in times of duress, perhaps so that a passing hunter in nearby woods might hear it. A description would help, as well, but with these pages in question a picture really is worth a thousand words.

I really like that it points out the leech’s ghastliness. Otherwise it would just be your standard stupid leech.

EDIT: I was just thinking. What if it’s saying it wants you to COUNT Dracula’s best buddies? There are 24.