subhumanzoids

I’ll be honest right up front, I never owned any of these. This is most notable because pretty much every ratty, grody toy available during my childhood rests somewhere in my basement. The Creepy Crawler and Mad Scientist lines are also significant for being somewhat of an apex for the “gross” era* of children’s toys. This isn’t to say that they were the best, but it was certainly all downhill after these.

Now kids just like to play with little big-eyed Jappernese crud; boys that look like girls that look like boys that look like girls. With that in mind, let’s take this moment to be transported back to a time when kids enjoyed concocting fake bugs, boogers, brains and, um, Power Rangers!

I love the kid at the beginning that corrects the announcer!

* Of course, I’m more referring to Toymax’s 1992 revival of CC.

Halo 3 has some pretty amazing customizable multiplayer features. My favorite by far has been this incredible pirate battle in the desert. Basically, your ships act as bases that the other team has to take over. Everyone is only equipped with a sword and a pistol, and being on the sand zaps away your shielding (so it really helps to have vehicles).

Here is a tale woven by me via the game’s theater feature.

Opposition starts flocking toward our ship

Back to the sea with you!

Their ship fast approaches ours

They waste no time unleashing their horde

Ship to ship action

I dispatch the first boarder ruthlessly

While Jimmy sneaks aboard their vessel

The last of their marauders is taken out

Blue corpse aftermath

I was just going to post a simple image of these frightful toys, but then I ran across this page at the Corinthian Marketing website. What? These made a European comeback last year? My, and how fancy they became. First the Reese’s cups and now this. What a day!

As a bonus, enjoy their animated adventure!

The Big Scream pt. 1

The Big Scream pt. 2

The Big Scream pt. 3

I think we can all make this a smashing holiday if we each agree to have Captain EO parties in our respective villas. Put on your 3-D glasses now!

Captain EO – part one

Captain EO – part two

Some treats aren’t meant to sit in that bowl of scum that you hand out every year. Leave that space for the candy corns and Milk Duds of our world. Certain candies are so divine one must keep them clasped tightly in their mitts; perhaps in a special sweets drawer that falls under the careful watch of lock and key.

One such candy is this outrageous concoction I discovered yesterday*.

Adorned with “The King” on its wrapper, this fancy chocolate/banana love affair is surely worth however many ¢ you’ll be forced to spend on it. Don’t leave it to the thankless void of the Halloween bowl!

Speaking of “treats,” I saw LCD Soundsystem and Arcade Fire at the Louisville waterfront last night and, to say the least, my socks were knocked a ways off of my feet.

*According to this blog, they were out last year, too. Good golly!