subhumanzoids

Hungover and tired. You all win today.

Erotic update of a “classic”:

It took me the entirety of the Streets of Rage 2 soundtrack to compose this mess. I’ll be really impressed if any of you get this one (resist the urge, Canaan), mostly because I don’t think drawings exist of this damn game. I had to use the raw energy of an 8-bit screencap to cull its essence, mashing it together with my memories and how I always envisioned the protagonist in greater detail. The color scheme here is pretty much a pure extraction of the original pixels.

Then again, maybe that will make it easy. I don’t know!

I’ll admit it, I fucked my template up something nasty. I switched my blogger from its current setup to the new one that allows signing in with your gmail account, and a host of new features that sounded “neat.”

I decided to check out what some of the other templates would look like and, to be safe, copied my reigning champion layout into a text file. After some experimenting, I came to the conclusion that my blog looked fine as is, and pasted my old template back into its proper location.

No dice. It wouldn’t work at all. Being no goddamn scientist, I gave up after mentally wrestling with it for a few minutes, which is comparable to a child slamming the triangular peg into the circle. I Hope it’s not too much of an eyesore for you guys.

At least it isn’t pink, right?

The contents of a man’s wallet is said to speak volumes of his character. Mine weaves a tale of adventurous exploits and impromptu derring-do!

Here are some gems plucked during its cleaning that, once mined from the dark canals of my wallet, are now deemed national treasures.

Click for increased clarity

Clockwise from top to bottom:

1) Slightly erotic (?) Slam Dunk holographic card. That title looks weird now without the crucial second M.

2) Some backstory. About 5 years ago, when I should have been book-learning, I left my NES on for two days straight playing Data East’s meisterwerk, Rampage. I wrote my score down and it’s been gaining age (and value!) behind my debit card ever since.

3) Supercuts card. I never got enough cuts there to be awarded their most excellent bonus cut.

4) My Beautiful Men’s Club card, created around 199x.