subhumanzoids

This is hands down the best episode of Zyuranger I’ve seen yet. If someone hadn’t realized this before me and put it on YouTube, I would have found a way to do it myself. It doesn’t have subtitles, but you don’t need them.

Dan and Mei eat some spiked shaved ice and turn into punks. What follows is a wild trip through a delinquent’s underworld, yakuza, screaming mandragora plants and a very hungry Dora Monster with an appetite for sentai. So good they didn’t even have time to bust out the big bot.

Denji Sentai Megaranger is a sentai series that follows one of my favorite story setups. Frankly, it’s not used often enough, and the easiest parallel to make would be to 1984’s The Last Starfighter. Just as Alex Rogan discovered when playing Starfighter at a local arcade, Kenta Date learns that not all “games” are what they appear to be on the surface.

As episode one begins, Kenta defends the honor of some young arcade rats by besting the tough guy pictured below at the game Megaranger, which is kind of like that old 3D FMV arcade blaster Time Traveler.

I imagine this is what Tomonobu Itagaki was like back in the day

You see, Kenta is an ace at this game, so he has no trouble whuppin’ up on this ne’er-do-well. Itagaki here isn’t the only one that takes notice, though, as Kenta is approached by some suits from INET labs who claim to be the creators of this earth-shaking game. Turns out it’s a training simulator, and Kenta fits the bill perfectly.

And so it is through this steel-sturdy premise that Kenta ends up being introduced to the base of the Megarangers, but his deployment into action’s going to come sooner than expected. Rather than wasting a lot of time drafting other players via this game, the rest of Kenta’s pals in the “Cybernetics Club” are simply invited to tour the lab and end up thrown into the same wild situation as Kenta when the evil Neijireijia attack.

“That’s total bullcrap! I had to be awesome at games to get here!”

Before you know it we’re thrust into space with our new sentai crew. I’ve only watched a few episodes so far, but Megaranger really falls into a comfortable time period as far as tokusatsu aesthetics are concerned. It originally aired in Japan in 1997 (and was used as the basis for Power Rangers in Space the following year), so it’s not too advanced to be overrun with mediocre CG. In fact, what CG there is is so crude it circles back around to charming, kind of like early movies and shows about “the ‘net.”

Cool badguys (like li’l dude above), some rad mecha and the look of early ’90s sentai masquerading deceptively under the slightly slicker hood of ’97. TV-Nihon has subbed some of the series, or you can just get started by watching the beginning of episode one below. At least stick around for Kenta’s exciting induction into the tights-clad service of the world’s greatest heroes.

The following letter may be about as canned as could be, but I’ll never forget Mr. Stephenson’s wise Battletoads protip:

July 29, 1991

Dear Joseph,

Thanks for sharing your great tip with us! Our Game Play Counselors enjoy reading about the discoveries players make. Every week re receive thousands of hints from readers all over the country, so choosing only a few to print in the magazine is a difficult task.

Thanks also for sending your super artwork. We love to see our readers’ creativity. We’ve forwarded your artwork to our Publications department. Since we receive hundreds of drawings each month, we can only print a few samples from talented fans like you. Keep watching Nintendo Power to see if your tip or artwork is selected for the magazine.

Read on for tips that will give your scores an energy boost. We know that even Power Players need a jump start now and then!

The Turbo Tunnel is one of the most difficult sections in Battle Toads. To conquer it, practice jumping and landing in the middle of the islands. It requires excellent timing and patience. If you have a controller with Slow Motion, you might want to try using that feature. Keep working at it, though. I’m sure you can make it!

Good luck, Joseph! For more game play help, call our Game Play Counselors at 1-206-885-7529 between 4 a.m. and midnight Pacific time, Monday through Saturday, or 8 a.m. and 5 p.m. Sunday. We look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

NINTENDO OF AMERICA INC.

Tom Stephenson

Consumer Service Representative

Oh boy, I just unearthed some real doozies from the past. The JLR will no doubt be treated to this tasty trifecta in full, though I’ll have to wait to scan the storybooks. Here’s a preview of the loot:

Pictured are my first two (illustrated) short stories, “The Bad Day” and “The Buried Treasure”, and a letter from Nintendo dated July 29, 1991.

I’ve been drawing comics in some form for quite some time. Is this building up to some kind of lesson on the artform? Absolutely not. I’m the last person you want to take lessons from. But surely there are nuggets of some form—be they golden or brown and dotted with the remnants of peanut M&Ms—in these tales of superheroics from the early ’90s.

Much like the diner, the logo was a real “Sizzler”

No doubt a candid pose

* Scavenger #1: “Eye of the Beast” prelude (vs. Sharpshot)

+Altitude #1: “Eye of the Beast” pt. 1 (I: Congo, I: Don M.)

Sharpshot to Scavenger: “There’s no hiding from me. This is for the arm!”

* Scavenger #2: “Eye of the Beast” pt. 2 (I: Archer, D: Sharpshot)

* Altitude #2: “Eye of the Beast” pt. 3 (I: Platoon and Chip) – Formation of The 3, capture of Congo.

Check out “Platoon” and “Chip”!

* Scavenger #3: “Eye of the Beast” pt. 4 – Conclusion. Congo breaks free and kills Altitude.

* Vengeance pt. 1 of 2 – Scavenger vs. Congo.

* Vengeance pt. 2 of 2 – Battle continues (I: Skyfire) Team up to fight Skyfire.

* Congo mini-series #1 of 3 (I: D’shaw) – D’shaw plans to blow up a building full of hostages. Congo runs to the rescue.

Congo, a beast restrained no more!

* Scavenger #4 – Don Majewski reveals himself to Scavenger and tells Scavenger of his past. (I: Sickle) Scavenger vs. Sickle part 1

* Congo mini-series #2 of 3 – D’shaw will release the hostages if Congo gets a special coolant from the lab. Will Congo break the law?

* Scavenger #5 – After almost killing each other, Sickle and Scavenger realize who the real enemy is: Don.

I didn’t show this vampire again, but he never found Altitude…

* Spectrum Spotlight #1: The 3 (O+I: Stalagmite, O: The 3) The 3 vs. Stalagmite.

* Congo mini-series #3 of 3 – Congo jumps out of the building saving the hostages. No sign of D’shaw.

…’cause Congo beat ‘im to it!

* Scavenger #6 (I: Gorgs) Don M. sends out his fleet of stealth robots (Generally Organic Robot Gear System, or G.O.R.G.S.)

* Spectrum Spotlight #2: D’shaw. What happened to D’shaw, you ask? A cybernetic body, that’s what.

Whoa, fanservice! Lookit Archer’s bountiful buttocks!
Boy, I don’t know about you but I’m beat. Seeing that babe Archer up there really took it out of me! She looks kind of like Hilary Swank, doesn’t she?