subhumanzoids

I hope you’re ready for the Robotronic Express 999 to “take you on a journey, a neverending journey”! (a journey to the stars, of course)

Go forth boldly!

Personally, I’d love to talk about tonight’s just-concluded K-1 Dynamite USA PPV event, but I’m far less qualified than Mr. Wesley Black, who sums it up nicely on his sexy blog.

I will say, though, Dennis Rodman was truly the “star” of the evening. He jogged in, absorbed all of the crowd’s boos into his hoop earrings, and made out like a bandit with the 30-40 US dollars he was awarded for appearing.

… then this clip of what might be the very “best” scene in Woodchipper Massacre must be the lexical equivalent of Uncle Scrooge’s money bin.

Well. That was certainly a “massacre.” For those of you lacking the balls of steel it takes to make it through this motion picture, I present to you the soul of Woodchipper Massacre in a succinct 7 frames.

Shhhhhhh… the movie’s starting.

THE END

The youngest boy finally got his mail-order Rambo survival knife from the postman. After running inside with it, the wicked Aunt Tess proclaims that she “will not have a weapon of that caliber in this house!”

When all is said and done, there’s no way I’m going to be able to convey the essence of this movie in words. I’ll give you all a big ol’ picture parade, but I’m going to go ahead and refuse to write up this incredible specimen of shot-on-video, Casio scored glory. It’s like Bigwig Productions whisked The Artist Formerly Known as Kojiro Abe back in time and gave him a grand and too many light stands to make his magnum opus.