D-d-down with Zelda**

Keepin’ it true* with an overhead view,
‘Cause a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.

After renting and playing a decent amount of the new Sonic the Hedgehog on 360, I decided that it’s terrible and Dave Halverson is a lunatic. If you want an idea of what playing it is like, it’s kind of a mix of this and this, but less awesome.

Though it took me over twenty years, I’ve finally come to the conclusion as to what the number one bathroom reader is. It should have been obvious from the start, but the enviable Luster Award for Shit Reading Excellence goes to Raijin’s full-colour versions of the Fist of the North Star manga.

Despite having read these a handful of times since their release a few years back, they still manage to hold a much sought-after spot in the wicker magazine rack next to my toilet (right in front of years-old EGMs and a bad Simpsons comic; prime real estate). The chapters can each be read in about the time it takes to squeeze out a moderately sized dump, and the faces any dedicated reader will make while reading the “A-ta-ta” and “Uwwooooooh!” sound effects make for the perfect doo-doo impetus.

**Sorry, nerds, this post isn’t really about Zelda at all.
*Listening again, I think he says “Creepin’ through,” but whatever.