Tales from Lucio Fulci’s Taint, Part One: Murder Rock

A lot of Fulci fans would probably rather die than watch some of his later flicks, but here at The JLR we’re going to be reflecting on the real grimy filth, ignoring the wealth of gold. Today’s Specimen?

Murder Rock (1984)

AKA Dancing Death AKA Slashdance, but I think the latter is the most hilarious. What makes Murder Rock any worse than other Fulci horror? It was only a couple years before that he was pumping out classics, so why is this one so fucking boring? Even the director documentary on the second disc of Shriek Show’s DVD only mentions the movie in passing.

The premise is kind of rad, too. There’s a dance school that’s being stalked by a ruthless killer. The gimmick is that he shoves a hairpin into their tit until it reaches their heart. Sounds great, right? But Fulci was way too enamored with chicks doing that “running in place” jazzercise dance to build any suspense.

Enter: the detective– played by a haggard Cosimo Cinieri; chugging coffee and trying to decide which of the sleazoid suspects is doing the sticking. Cinieri looks, much like the aforementioned Fulci fans, like he’d rather die than be here.

The good shit you get for your scratch is a gang of titty shots, ridiculous 80s music by Keith Emerson, and enough “dirty dancing” to build up a nasty sweat. The bad shit, however, is innumerable.

9 thoughts on “Tales from Lucio Fulci’s Taint, Part One: Murder Rock

  1. Contrary to popular belief, dudes like boobs. I think it’s time to class your smelly ass up. We’re going to watch the Pride & Prejudice and make out.

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