Woodchipper Massacre Pre-show

I’m about to explode. This has seriously been running in my DVD player for all of 13 seconds and I’m already dying to write about it. In fact, there haven’t even been any HUMAN BEINGS or CAMERA SHOTS on screen yet, but here I am.

The movie opens with some amazing VCR-quality teleprompter text that relays the following crucial message:

This year over 75,000 people were killed by family members in the United States. One in ten of these murders are never solved and written off as unexplained disappearances, due to the fact that bodies are never found and disposed of in most ingenious ways.

This is one such story.

Let that soak in for a bit while I press play and power through 90 minutes of a titillating 1989 classic.

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