Penishold

What’s that making Senor Coco go loco? What game’s got him screamin’ like a demon? Why, Midway’s very own digital follow-up to John Woo’s Hard Boiled, Stranglehold, of course!


Were I a betting man, I’d wager this demo will make at least 90% of the population coo-coo like (not for) Cocoa Puffs. The game is totally bonkers and over the top. As Tequila, if you so much as rub your thigh against a flat surface the game sends you into a raging fit of automatic awesome, which is a vague way of saying that you slide along counter tops and tables.

Each segment of the level here is a virtual action movie set-piece loaded with context sensitive acrobatics and glimmering objects that will, upon being shot, explode with sparks and drop boxes and other sharp-ended messes on your foes. When firefights are at their most intense, the screen is a slow-motion frame loaded with blood, splinters, concrete and sparks. Yeah, it uses old, tired Max Payne gimmicks, but it uses them so damn well.


There are even mexican standoffs! In a game! How the hell does that even work? (Okay, I’ll tell you) With everyone aiming at one another, you start dispatching your foes one by one as you use the left stick to dodge bullets like Nick Cage in that NEXT trailer. Oh. Yes.

I sincerely doubt that I’ll rent this game when it drops on the 26th of this very month. I will probably buy it. With money!

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3 thoughts on “Penishold

  1. I’m buying this shit for sure. Especially since I just finished up the last game I bought, Crackdown. Which, if you haven’t played it yet, is a low-key character piece where you take on the role of an everyday African-American male, and what he must face in the city. Gripping stuff.

  2. Though I don’t own it, I too have spent a fair amount of time exploring the inner turmoils that your character must face in Crackdown. I found it to be, for lack of better words, a “moving” piece.

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