Category: Comics

Do it the Joey Coco way!

5) Watch old shoujo anime on your computer.

4) Watch Veronica Mars.

3) Rip off your testicles.

2) Fancy them.

1) Say hello to your “vagina.”

On the Man Front, I rented The Warriors on X-box today and started digging into it. John and I busted out co-op, which is fun aside from the constant switching between full and split-screen, depending on your proximity to the other player.

This week is going to be stellar, mostly because of the impending release of New Super Mario Bros. on DS. How erotic is that? A new goddamn 2D Mario platformer of our very own.

Tinny music is acting as background noise to a space age budget fairgrounds-style ad for a Louisville Yugi Oh tournament on TV right now.

I’d love to take Danny Tanner there and watch the fireworks. Still, he doesn’t exist and I’m sure I’d end up as disappointed as I was on Free Comic Book Day this past Saturday. Despite the piles of generic, complimentary DC and Marvel comics on the table, they were all out of the Archie Comics 65th Anniversary Bash. What a cruel planet!

Unfortunately, I doubt it would have killer content like this page I scanned from an old Double Digest:

“Proud African Chieftain,” indeed!

Speaking of Lady Vengeance, here’s my ding dang review.

Also, everyone pour your booze out on the cold concrete, unless you’re not drinking any (pussy). Machiko Soga AKA Bandora AKA Rita Repulsa died on May 7th of pancreatic cancer. Who will make my “monster” grow now?

No one should be opposed to corny or trashy entertainment. There’s something suspect about you if you can’t enjoy fun garbage.

If I had to choose between trusting someone that immersed themself only in the most gutter of film, the most foul concoctions of creativity, and someone that refused to acknowledge it at all, I’d hand a gun to the former and have them shoot the latter.

On that note, I was thinking about starting some semi-regular features here at The Joseph Luster Report. I almost kicked off The Friday Man Movie (tentative title, of course) with Mission: Impossible III, but I ended up going to sleep around noon on Friday and waking up at 6:30pm.

God of War ate me alive that night and almost caved my skull in near the end. Those fucking Cerebus dogs! I hate them with the passion of a thousand Akshay Kumar flicks†. If you don’t kill the puppies within a minute or so they turn into full-blown Cerebuses…es…Cerebusi? Garybusey?

Today was a complete Chan-wook Park day, I guess. After checking out Tartan’s screener for Lady Vengeance, I went over to Bryan’s and made him finally watch the Korean disc of Old Boy I let him borrow a long time ago. Out of all three, Old Boy is still my favorite. It’s not as harsh and depressing as Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance. In fact, it seems to sit appropriately between the other two as far as emotional levels of revenge go. Although, if we’re talking temperature of vengeance between Lady and Mister, I can’t decide which is the hot handle and which is the cold.

† Okay, that statement sounded sort of ambiguous. I can not overstate how awesome Akshay Kumar is.

Here’s a special early morning edition of everyone’s favorite high-class online magazine!

It’s 7:30 in the morning in the fine city of Louisville, Kentucky and this intrepid reporter has been hard at work playing TV games throughout the night. But why would Sir Coco forego sleeping in favor of digital derring-dos?

It’s like asking “What if Dr. Doom had become a hero?” or “What if The Watcher stopped watching?” in that the answer may surprise you! You’d be a well-informed reader if I didn’t have to tell you that this is Derby weekend here in “The ‘Ville.” It’s times when others are the busiest that help remind me that I have no need for a normal sleeping schedule at the moment.

TV games ahoy! Our favorite dandy is working hard on God of War as you read this, thrashing nogoodniks from Mount Olympus to the briney gates of Poseidon’s keep.

Or is he?

Stay tuned for the uproarious conclusion!