Category: Comics

The original Rambo trilogy has, like a very fine wine, aged with grace while retaining a mammoth’s powerful gait. I know this for a fact because I just marathoned all three. Like any good film series, each subsequent chapter ramps up the blood, explosions, and amount of helicopters; they don’t make ’em like this anymore.

Or do they?

That’s exactly what I’ll find out in a hair under three hours, my friends (according to my handy Rambo countdown clock. I hope you have found it useful). I have a feeling that they do, indeed, still make them like they used to. At least Stallone might. I plan to bring along a comrade, but should that fail, I won’t hesitate to roll into the midnight showing symbolically alone.

I can’t imagine what the world would be like now had First Blood parts one and two been produced and released as a single film. I don’t think I want to know, because I probably wouldn’t be able to sit here at the comfort of my desk making post after post about Rambo, of all things.

Rather, I’d be doing something much less exciting, since they would have stopped making movies after its release. After all, how would you follow up the greatest 3-hour action film of all time? For the record, the box below is my most vivid childhood memory of Rambo, thanks to countless video store trips that eventually, after Robocop busted my R-rated film cherry, reaped great rewards.

Gotta love that bumbling pull-quote

Wow, it had been at least a decade since I last watched First Blood, the riveting account of John Rambo, drifting ex-soldier, shaken up in a small town by a cop that just wouldn’t stop pushin’. It’s never a wonder why it’s one of my favorites.

For those of you whose curiosity has been piqued by my talk of receiving it on Blu-ray from Netflix, don’t get too excited. You’d do just as well to watch it on regular DVD, as the transfer isn’t really that special. Still, no matter which format you view it in, the final scene of the film is never any less astounding.

Naturally, YouTube, the low-res internet library of all video media, has rounded up these moments—moments which I’m sure many will concur are some of the best minutes Stallone has ever committed to the screen—in all their glory, up to and including Dan Hill’s somber closing tune.

Taking a cue from John Rambo himself, Netflix decided not to send me a notification that my movie had shipped. From woes to WHOAS is how my facial expression transformed. As I stood with my back to the street, no doubt in the middle of oppressing someone, the mailman rose from behind, thrusting this into my mitts with the swiftness of a hot machete:

Well, it looks like the Blu-ray of First Blood won’t make it here from Netflix before Rambo hits theaters (have you been keeping your eye on the countdown?). That’s too bad, I wanted to document a marathon for Rambo Week!

For your entertainment today, I’ve stolen this image of nutritional facts in preparation for the new flick. Please do not make it larger if you don’t want to see something awesome!