Category: Comics

Goodness, look, it’s Gas Baby! Remember him? Quick question: were everyone’s fave babe to make a full-fledged return, what would be your medium of choice?

Goodness gracious, two in a row!? We had an itch we needed to scratch, and Halloween and Death Sentence ain’t gettin’ any younger. So, naturally, we talk about those flicks and then open the floor to Umair as he lets us in on his latest project, Castellari’s Law.

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Umair: the brown prince of the Robotronic Kingdom

Since I lack the ability to tell dirty fibs, you’ll surely believe me when I inform you of the latest Robotronic Dynamite! episode, right? In fact, it is our twentieth, and I believe this milestone merits some form of celebration. Celebrate by listening.

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To add to this jubilant entry, I’ll “spoil” the fact that we are going to record another episode in just a hair under 90 150 200 minutes!

Not to you, Umair, but to the SEGA DREAMCAST. Sorry, but one day you filthy humans will all be nothing but dusty memories and the advent of your births will be no more than earmarked dates on crumpled, fading Garfield calendars.

I think your logo is keen…
Machines, however, are timeless! I’m firm in my belief that once my Dreamcast becomes sentient on its tenth anniversary in 2009, I will be a faithful servant that works only for its sustained life force, questing only for fuel to churn its still beating mechanical heart.

I had a big test the day after the Dreamcast’s launch. It was my first year of college and I screwed around a lot, but never so much as that evening that I waited until midnight for it to pop from Funcoland’s grimy birth canal. I took it home and was wowed by its graphical prowess, titillated by the superfluous visuals on its VMUs, and captivated by the veritable treasure trove of day one titles I had holed away and exploded money upon.

… your firm bodice serene like that of a dream!
Here’s to you, oh fanciful white steed on which I rode into many virtual battles; the saddle that gripped me during over 200 hours of Phantasy Star Online, for instance. I procured some fine pumpkin ale last night, and I will most definitely be toasting to you this eve.

“Early 21st Century American Horror”
I peeped Adam Green’s Hatchet earlier and thought it was just okay. I know what they were going for with their “Old School American Horror” tagline, but there’s not much that technically separates this from something like Jeepers Creepers or, I don’t know, another bad example; it’s pretty goofy.

The special effects are awesome. In fact, if the kills in this movie weren’t so insane, it wouldn’t be worth watching at all. Actually, it does have Tony Todd, Kane Hodder, Robert Englund, and Mercedes McNab’s boobs in it, so there are more than a couple of reasons to give it a spin.

Surprisingly, though, neat deaths and 90 seconds of Candyman in a tophat do not a great movie make. There’s a lot of terrible, terrible music and a lot of Scooby-doo scares (“let’s turn this way then turn back-aaaaahboogabooga!”). I can’t really picture Victor Crowley becoming a new horror icon, what with the forgettable costume design, but I also never imagined that they would be on Saw IV by now, so who knows.

Check it out on the cheap or free, don’t let the hype blow it up too much for you (seriously, where’d all the buzz come from?), and enjoy the splatter and the mercifully short 75-80 minute runtime.