Game Review: Rose & Camellia

The game in question (play it!)


Rose & Camellia is a Japanese flash-based game in which you play a broad that gets in smack fights with other broads. I don’t read jappernese, but it’s probably an argument about a doily or the color of a bedspread.


You start off in a pretty easy battle against what appears to be, for lack of better words, a bitch. By mousing across her face, you slap her, and selecting to evade and then mousing over your own mug dodges the next attack and gives you room to counter. It’s basically Mike Tyson’s Punch Out for dames.


The above screen is as far as I made it, but I’m gonna go ahead and scream for a Wii version. Maybe they could even make a plastic slap-hand attachment and sell it for $19.99!

Battle of the Demos: Eternal Sonata VS Blue Dragon

After playing more of each, I think I’m going to have to go with Eternal Sonata for the currently demoable RPG to play this year. While I stand by my thought that it’s tough to demo an RPG (out-of-context battles ahoy), there are many more annoyances with BD that even the dimming shroud of alcohol fails to blanket.


My first exposure was the Fortress level, which was cushioned with some cool boss fights. The other stage, however, shows more of the gameplay pitfalls that I don’t look forward to encountering as much. For one, I don’t really feel like I’m doing anything in battle. Okay, to be more blunt, I have little idea what’s going on at any given moment.

The aforementioned boss fights also do one of my least favorite things: they start off by granting the boss a bunch of turns in which they inflict a bunch of status effects and whatnot. This slows the process down more than anything, but it’s still annoying. The music is pretty rad, though.


Also, there are poo snakes.

But, like I said before, I don’t really think any RPG demos very well. To me it’s like being shown an excerpt from a book. It may be a pretty well written few hundred words, but out of context it’s utterly meaningless. Por exemplo, I don’t know that Dragon Quest VIII would have been the experience it was without the first unforgettable moment when that beautiful music swelled as the sun went down over my party’s caravan.

Therefore, I shall reserve my ultimate and righteous judgment!

Big Man Face: The Movie: The Rough Cut

Technically, Big Man Face: The Movie (a Blackluster film) has existed in rough cut form since 2005. However, it was always too long to upload, and I no longer have the original files on this computer. The HD tapes remain in LA, where it shall one day see completion!


Some things you should know about the rough cut, for it is an interesting tale! Fit the first: there is none of the original audio in this version. Until we pony up for some studio time, the movie’s only sound is comprised of some last minute ghetto dubbing done in Wes’ apartment (AKA Casa de Boi).

Secondly, you’ll notice there is quite a bit of green screen here! I’d like to think we inspired the conception of Zack Snyder’s 300, but, unfortunately, we lack their resources! Use your imagination- the backgrounds are all going to be cartoony drawings, set between an animation sequence at the beginning (partially depicted in this lovely comic page), one of the short bus crashing, and a wild montage of people chasing BMF in his carriage.

Other than that, enjoy! The makeup FX were done by the legendary Gabe Bartalos, and the movie stars Jason Fisher, as well as a few others and about a dozen versions of Wes and myself.

Part One

Part Two

Part One & Part Two (YouTube)