Nothing needs to preface this video, but I must say that I’m dying to make a Boglins movie.
Oh, wait, someone already did. Wow, what a doozy! It certainly gets the JLR Gold Trophy for Best Use of Exaggerated Shrugging in a Movie. Actually, it appears that the general consensus on Boglin lore in related short films establishes that when one is bitten by a Boglin, they become possessed by or transmogrified into that creature.
I don’t think this is canon, though.
October is truly the perfect month to maintain a mustache; all the more so were there a bristly breeze in favour of the steamy heat! Won’t you join me?
Jesus, that picture is begging for an R.I.P. dedication. It’s like an old polaroid of a dead uncle I’ve never met; a yearbook snapshot of that one thirty year-old douchebag in your high school Home Economics class.
Directed by the fabulous Umair Aleem, this is a sexy trailer that he and I wrote a couple of months ago. Enjoy the erotic, action-packed polizia goodness!
Castellari’s Law (YouTube)
Castellari’s Law (Stage6)
Terrible indeed!
Let’s take a closer look though, where you can see why these arachnids truly caught my eye!
This little piece of tantalizing copy got my brain moving. If only I had a hapless mark to play a trick upon. An innocent b(l)umpkin who’s mind has been slowed by the previous night’s debauchery. Luckily, I share an apartment with one such character: Patrick “Nugget” Sanders! Quickly, I plucked the package from the rack and got in line with embarrassed girlfriend in tow.
Once home, I discovered that Nugget had arisen from his slumber and gone outside for a smoke. I seized the moment, and placed my new friends in places befitting of large spiders looking to sink their fangs into pasty young men:
Wait a tick, what’s this?
If there were any doubts as to whether or not my victim was deserving of a bone chilling scare, the gay love notes left on his desk erase them. What a dork.
The trap has been set. Now to go photograph my target while planting the seeds of of a potential tarantula infestation in our apartment. As I casually walk outside, Nugget is immediately suspicious of my camera:
“You aren’t taking pictures of me are you?” he asks. “Of course not Nug! I am simply out here taking pictures of my dog!” I respond. Speaking of my dog, I begin to spin a yarn. I ask if he had heard my pup (Rocky) barking this morning, and go on to tell him that I saw him chase a spider under the fridge. Nugget’s curiosity is piqued because, just like any warm-blooded American man, he is scared of spiders.
I continue the discussion. “It was so big, at first I thought it was a mouse! Perhaps we should call an exterminator.” I sell the idea to him well.
Visibly shaken, Nugget heads inside to begin his day. As he enters his room there is a deafening silence, followed by a sickly sounding “DUDE.”
I do not reply. One more time I hear it: “DUDE.” Later, Nugget confesses to me that his heart skipped a beat. A deadly tarantula residing beneath his computer desk! The place where nugget works, consumes media, and beats off could very well have also been his tomb!
I run in to photograph Nugget post-trick, then immediately get on the phone to report my victory to Joseph Luster himself, who then suggests I share my mischief with his viewers at home. Rocky rejoices by trying to eat the fake spider.
Surely there’s some kind of internet award for making this many Thriller-related posts within a few days of one another. Well, I’d say this also counts as the Spooky Toy of the Day, but I’ve never actually seen these before!
Here’s the link at which I found these unlicensed Thriller dolls. I’m especially fond of the second one pictured below: Howard the Howling Hound! In truth, I would pay upwards of nine dollars to call it my own.
subhumanzoids 