survey says

Continued from last time, most chose to ask “how do we get home?”

A low hum sounds as the floating wiseman closes his eyes.

“To return home,
You must find the bone,
bury it well,
and depart alone.

Now, begone!”

With a nod the wiseman disappears and your surroundings disintegrate. The little shopkeep is nowhere to be found, but his four-legged companion is enraged. It appears your return upset him in some way, and he prepares to charge before you can get your bearings.


What’s your move?

Tame won!

the ultimate question(s)

Picking up from last time, most people wanted to [bark], so:

BOWF! You let out a mighty bark that startles even [Throckmorton]. It shocks you, too, as the platforms in the room rearrange themselves instantly. Now the door from before is above you and the staircase is below. It’s not that different, so…

BOWF! They change again. BOWF! Again. The room is under your control! BOWF! BOWF! BOWF! The red cells swirl, collide, cry, and explode throughout your gleefully morbid display of power. BOWF! BOWF! BO–

“STOP!” A voice booms as the final rearrangement brings a throne into view. A wise-looking creature floats atop it. “Eight times have I heard that shrill sound,” it says, “so eight seconds have you to ask me one question.” 

[Throckmorton] gets the honor since he can talk. Choose what he asks from the menu.



“How do we get home?”


Continued from yesterday, most people couldn’t resist [use key]…

[Throckmorton] takes the key and, eyes nearly closed, shoves it in the merchant’s back with a sickly squish. The merchant looks even more uncomfortable than you as he begins to gyrate and contort.

Before you can react, his body spreads like marmalade over the entire landscape, transforming it into a labyrinthine series of fleshy stairs and doorways. It’s unclear whether you’re inside him or he’s enveloped everything, but that doesn’t matter now, does it? You need to find… something to make this purchase more than another confounding headache.


Choose your next move.


key to further mystery

Continued from yesterday, the majority wanted to buy the [MYSTERY KEY]. And so…

Reluctant to dump all your diamonds in one go, and admittedly interested in all things mysterious, you go for the Mystery Key. The little guy sighs, visibly annoyed. He turns around and lifts his shirt, revealing a keyhole on his back.

“Why’s everyone always want the stupid key, man?”

You now have 100 diamonds and two options.



See where it leads

what’re ya sellin’?

After a weekend break we’re picking up from last time. Most people chose to [rescue] our ally. And so…

As tempting as the bone is, there’s no way you can let your friend sink to the depths. Pure strength and resolve take over as you chomp down on his generous eyebrow hair and tug him toward the beach. [Throckmorton] coughs and wheezes, but he’s alive. He shakes himself dry and a bunch of diamonds fly out from his fur. 

A voice sounds from behind. “That was craaaazy, man,” it says, asking if you dudes are ok. You turn to see a yellowish creature lumbering over on all fours with a tiny little fella on its back. “We thought you dudemen were done for,” the little one says as he hops off the bigger one’s back. 

He says it’s too bad you couldn’t get that bone, too, “Those ones are, like, crazy rare.” The bigger one bellows in agreement. “Whatever, though, man, maybe we can help ya.” The little dude snaps his fingers and the creature’s body opens up, revealing an item-filled shop.


What’re ya buyin’?

Here’s what ya bought